Hi. My name is Becky and ... I have ulcerative colitis.
Cue the blank stares, the abrupt subject change, or, my personal favorite, the unsolicited disclosure of your own gastrointestinal woes. No, no. I live my life from bathroom to bathroom. Unless you have a particularly humorous tale, keep your shit to yourself. Literally.
Last summer, I was officially diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. The joys of that life started 4 years prior, immediately after graduating with my Bachelor's degree. I figured it was nerves. I had job interviews. The sheltered life of college was over and I was going to have to learn to ... pay ... *gasp* ... bills. But then I got a job and it didn't stop.
My oh-so-wonderful boyfriend at the time told me I was being a drama queen. Because defecating blood was actually all a ploy I was using to get attention. So I tried to will myself to be reasonable. Rather surprisingly, that didn't work, so I went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome and told to watch for "triggers." I was able to sum up with ease that my "triggers" roughly consisted with anything I ate.
That was the point that I gave up the first time. Let there be intestinal waterslide! That was my life motto, and I lived it well. There was lots of quality time spent in the potty. I took up Sudoku to entertain myself while my insides evacuated the premises.
Four years later, it was a way of life for me. The pain, the frequent (and rather lengthy) trips to the bathroom. It felt normal. When you get to the point where you consider bloody stool normal, something is terribly wrong. That's when I finally went to a GI doctor. Not on my own of course. My mother threatened me extensively. But, alas, I went to the doctor.
My GI doctor is the best. I call him Dr. Strode - Psych fans, anyone? We had an actual discussion about my insides and their ridiculous obsession with the outside world. He suggested a colonoscopy, but I was a bit hesitant ... we had only just met! I'm not that kind of girl, Dr. Strode!
That's when I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Joy of joys.
Like the fool that I am, I refused to do anything about it. Medicine? Bah! Well ... less of "bah" and more of $980/month not being a practical solution. So I suffered on.
I was on vacation earlier this month in San Diego. I had been looking forward to going to the zoo since booking the trip. I'm a weird bird person, and the San Diego Zoo has some incredible birds. When we arrived at the zoo, I hit the bathroom. And then I stayed there for 2 hours. Two hours. It was awful, it was painful, it was in a public bathroom.
But - thank you smartphone and 4G! - I spent those two hours wisely. While I was sitting in that public bathroom stall NOT seeing the world's most awesome birds, I decided their had to be another way. Maybe I couldn't afford the medication, but there had to be something. So I took to Pinterest. And the verdict was - drum roll, please - GAPS.
So here we are. Nearly 5 years after symptoms started, and I'm finally invested in my health ...
